Well.

Looking at this blog is kind of odd, since I haven't updated in a long while; the last Lost thing I posted was from the middle of season one, back when the Original Losties were all alive, before the second season's questionable storyarcs, and season three's Others junk (Jacob is ... an invisible guy? a smoke monster?...do I care? Not really -- not about the whole Others situation. It was fun in the beginning speculating who they were, though.

Of course I'll be watching in February, if only to see how Charlie's death affects the Losties, if at all.

*Yawn*

This post is only here to try and push down that thing down below. Seriously, what were they trying to do, make Jack look as fugly as possible? The sad thing is that's not the worst picture. Oh no, not by a long shot. That magazine cover scan came from the now-dead POTC Fandom site. Along with it was scans of the two POTC-related comics. Which I saved on my computer. To laugh and have a good, long cry at them. Maybe one day I'll post them here.

...And Really Bad Comic Illustrations

'Bagenders' Update

Apparently, the light green Stormpages Bagenders page was reverted to the way it was during the first three episodes of Season 2. So I guess if you want to see it, you'll have to use the second link I provided. The only thing missing from these eps. is the very last one written solely by Random Dent. I guess it's just as well, as it was a mediocre ep, to be honest.

Viva Bagenders!

Upcoming 'Lost' Episodes

Apparently new eps will be back in January.

1.12 Whatever the Case May Be/Kate ep.
1.13 Hearts and Minds/Boone and Shannon ep.
1.14 Special/ Michael and Walt ep. (Finally! Vincent's backstory!)

The Fangirlization of Capt. Jack Sparrow

Possibly one of the scariest places on the Internet is Fanfiction.Net, specifically the categories for Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean. The majority of authors who write in these fandoms refuse to acknowledge canon, for one reason or another, but it all boils down to the fact that most of them are immature teenagers who "lurv Orli!!!1!"

Since I don't read fanfiction based on books -- with the exception of the hilarious Bagenders -- I'll be focusing on a much-abused fandom, Pirates of the Caribbean.

Jack Sparrow
This wonderful character is usually depicted as...

• A borderline-alcoholic who does nothing but drink or think about drinking, rum.
• Saying "savvy" and "luv" all the time.
• Insists to be called "CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow!!!!!!111!"
• Calling Will "whelp" all the time.
• Singing "A Pirates Life for Me" all the time.
• Sharing his feelings.
• Wanting to find Twu Wuv.

So, basically it's like that. The last two are most definately a case of wishful thinking, as Jack is an around-forty pirate who doesn't seem to have much luck with the ladies, and who doesn't go around sharing his innermost thoughts, feelings or experiences, and especially not with some little teenybopper who could be his daughter.

I made a list of stats regarding how many times Jack says certain phrases in the movie.

Jack Sparrow Statistics
Number of Spoken Lines: 107
Number of times he says…
Savvy: 6
Mate: 11 (!)
Love: 4
Eunuch: 2
Whelp: 1 (Echoing Barbossa!)
Aye: 5

Things He Calls Elizabeth Other Than ‘Love’
Elizabeth
Dear
Miss Swann
Darling (twice)
M’lady
Fair lady
Bonny lass
Young missy
The future Mrs. Commodore

Things He Calls Will Other Than ‘Whelp’
Boy (thrice)
Son
Mr. Turner
Young Mr. Turner (twice)
Dear William


Multisyllabic words used by Jack (Fangirls usually aren't smart enough to use these):
Superfluous
Proliferous
Ecumenically

Times He Sings ‘A Pirate’s Life for Me’: 2

Times We Actually See Him Drinking: 2 (grog in the Faithful Bride and rum on the island)

Times He Insists on Being Called 'Captain': 2 (only when he's being introduced)

Links

To see the POTC FFN section yourself: http://www.fanfiction.net/list.php?categoryid=1617

Bagenders: http://bagenders.stormpages.com

If you can't read the story well -- it's in dark green there -- go here: http://www.bagenders.rosiesamfrodo.com/episodes.html

Getting 'Lost'

I've rarely watched a full series run of a dramatic show. No, make that, "I've NEVER watched a full run of a dramatic show." Usually about the third season, I'll lose interest in seeing what will happen to the characters. Granted, the only dramas I've bothered watching were Beverly Hills 90210 and Dawson's Creek, soap operas that they were, by the time I finished watching them -- I stopped at 90210's 1994-1995 season, and at Creek's third season -- I could care less if, say, it was revealed that Steve had actually spent seven years in high school, or if someone murdered all the pretty people of Capeside.

So, dramas and me haven't gotten along good for long.

Then, along came Lost.

I've been hooked since day one. I like that it answers a few questions about where the characters are coming from and why they were on the plane, yet at the same time opens up MORE questions. What did Jack do to his father? What was Kate's crime? And what about Locke, who foils the islanders' attempts for rescue? I think he knows something -- after all, he's the only one (save for maybe Danielle and Ethan) who's actually seen the Thing in the Jungle. I could go on and on with questions about this show, I've never been so intrigued.

One of the best sites for Lost fans is http://lost-media.com.

Almost forgot -- today is the birthday of Ian Somerhalder (Boone) and Dominic Monaghan (Charlie).

Tomorrow's Topic: Voyage to Hell: Searching For a Good Story at the Pirates of the Caribbean Section at Fanfiction.Net